No JOB is worth your mental health.

– Brigette Hyacinth, on LinkedIn

I wish more than anything that I had quit my toxic job after the first year. Staying for three and a half years and working for a toxic manager and with a bullying, insecure, narcissistic team mate wrecked my mental health and destroyed the career I worked so hard to build. 

I’d never had a manic episode in my life, then I had two manic episodes about a year apart while working there. The second one hospitalized me and left me disabled. That was two years ago, right around this time. In fact, the 2 year anniversary of my hospitalization is less than 2 weeks away. 

Fast forward 2 years and I’m now on permanent disability and I have not worked since. I try to be positive and tell myself I’m going to get back to work eventually but truthfully I’m not sure if I’ll ever work again. I will never forgive those guys. I’ll never forgive my manager for his cowardice, gaslighting and dishonesty, and I’ll never forgive my team mate for his toxic insecurity, his need to be the “go-to guy” on everything, and his relentless, calculated campaign to tear me down. I hate them both.

My advice is follow your heart and your gut, if things don’t seem right, just leave. Pay, benefits, whatever, It’s not worth it to stay on and try to make it work.